The paper itself was good, all you could possibly fit int he 6 page goal was included. Having my paper proof read by an official was very useful. I was able to make corrections before turning it in. However personal opinion of what is necessary and what is not varies from person to person. So the paper was returned to be on the basis of "quote integration." There were many questions on one of my direct quotations. Obviously I could have done a lot better in terms of figuring out MLA format and making the last changes breaking up a large direct quotation better. But otherwise addressing the different types of care and places of care was very thorough. In the modern world there is a large LARGE variety of options of elderly care. My paper explored the most common ones. Each was compared to the other and held to its own standards.
My opening was done with a direct quotation about an elderly woman who could no longer take care of herself and her only daughter was struggling to keep up with her mother and her own life. It was a perfect beginning because I was able to segue right into my topic and address my thesis directly. My closing however was a weak point as I did not have anything particular to say or summarize.
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